You know the familiar tension that builds up leading to an important conversation?

Maybe you feel aggravated with someone, or maybe you have to say something that could escalate further. Maybe it’s a job interview. Maybe you’re trying to write the perfect post here on Medium.

You rehearse the conversation over and over again in your head. You try to come up with the perfect script. (And of course we’re so very clever in our own minds.)

Then the words come out of your mouth, and let’s just say it doesn’t go as expected. Sometimes it goes better that expected! And sometimes it goes worse, but who can tell what to expect!

We get so worked up in our minds.

Here’s a different approach.

Take the conversation out of your head and bring it down to your heart. Just typing that made me take a deep breath. It felt soothing.

When you take a conversation down to your heart, it forces the ego to step aside.

The ego likes to think it has all the answers, but it’s fighting for its own protection.

Our human thinking loves to chew on problems, and the ego can chase those problems down dozens of rabbit holes.

The heart brings us back to the center.

A conversation that comes from the heart is more steady and more genuine.

There’s an innate wisdom that resides within all of us. It’s a small voice that’s separate from the chatter in your head.

When you get down into your heart, it turns up the volume on your inner wisdom, and it turns down the volume on the chatter.

“A woman with her hands crossed on her chest” by Giulia Bertelli on Unsplash

Use your brain for problem solving, that’s what it is best at. Then use your heart to filter what it is you want to say.

If it feels hard to bring your communication down to your heart, focus on it first on your own with this exercise.

Hold your hands over your heart while you imagine your “thinking” is coming from inside your chest. Let your words flow from this space.

You’re going to see benefits from this shift.

If you’re prone to being perceived as anxious or aggressive, speaking from the heart smooths those edges.

If you have to deliver a difficult message, you stand a better chance at beingheard by the other person when the message comes from your heart.

When you speak from the heart you’re calm and confident.

Speaking from your heart doesn’t mean your message is weak or flimsy.

Quite the opposite. When you speak from your heart, your message is grounded, steady and sure. There’s a quiet strength to it that’s pure and people see it.

When you notice how good it feels to spend more time in your heart and less in your head, you’ll be hooked.

I made a 5-day Guide to Mastering Happiness, and it’s yours for free! Click here to get the guide for free!