It Matters What Other People Think

How to be yourself without ruining your life.

Has the “be yourself” pendulum swung too far?

Advice to be yourself and not care about what other people think is great until you find yourself with few friends and a go-nowhere job. Heck, you may even find yourself at the center of a viral news piece or on the no-fly list.

What’s driving your choices?

Human behavior is seldom uncomplicated. It’s the ego that drives just about all your actions and decisions. That means personality, and the choices you make, are the result of drivers like fear, insecurities, and past experiences.

It takes work to get to the root of your motives, and it takes discipline to override the ego when it pushes you into doing things that will hold you back in life. (Read more about this here: “When Is It My Ego, and When Is It My Truth That’s Talking to Me?”)

It matters what other people think if:

you’re chronically late,
you’re not honest,
you can’t commit,
your behavior is hurtful,
you’re a poor listener,
you have rude manners,
you’re inconsiderate…

None of these qualities are going to get you to a very good life. You’ll be frustrated by the unfair roadblocks that keep setting you back in life, but really it’s you.

It also matters what other people think if:

you keep your word,
you’re honest,
you treat others with respect and kindness,
you show up on time,
you work hard,
you listen to others,
you strive to do no harm…

These things matter so much to others that you’ll find life cooperating with you instead of being a struggle. Opportunities show up for you. People treat you with respect and kindness in return. Life flows.

What do other people think about you?

Step aside from yourself. Imagine you’re watching a stranger live life like you. What does it look like? What sort of impression would you have of someone else making the same choices?

If you’re feeling stuck, what can you change? Change it and put that new habit into action. It’s your actions that show people what you’re made of.

You deserve genuine and lifelong happiness, the type of happiness that can’t be taken away from you no matter what sort of craziness is happening in the world. Read my book, Happy Ever After. We can all use that right now.

all images open source from pixabay.com